I've tried to write this next blog post a hundred times but I can only get so far before scribbling through my words and ripping it up!

The last blog post I wrote which was about my sister Emma was read by over 4000 people in the first 24 hours of going online. The response was utterly overwhelming, I received so many lovely messages from friends and even total strangers with offers of support, donations and encouragement. A simple thank you just doesn't feel nearly enough but it's all I have....and I do Thank You all with every fibre of my body, for everything you all did to help me put together and pull of the wedding auction! THANK YOU a million times over xx

As you may or may not know originally the wedding auction was organised in aid of my sister Emma, to help raise funds to pay for her alternative treatment for brain cancer. 

So....this is around about the point where I start to scribble out! 

Emma died.

On Sunday 24th July 2016 just after 4pm my beautiful big sister, my best friend, took her last breath and went to sleep for the last time.

Just days before the auction she was gone, I'm so sad that she didn't get to witness how wonderful the night was, she didn't get to feel how much love filled that huge room. It was such an emotional evening, one that I just couldn't have got through alone. I'm so thankful to have had my family and friends right by my side.

The full wedding day package was won with a bid of £10,000!! The winning couple, Barry and Leanne travelled down from Cambridge to attend the event. A weird twist of fate and an extra special touch is that Barry is an old family friend. He actually took Emma to hospital when she was in labour with my niece Emily 11 years ago! It's like Emma made it happen this way, she couldn't have the wedding of her dreams so she wanted someone special to have it and it makes it so much more wonderful to be someone we know and love.

Amazingly we raised over £14,000 on the night which will be used to help give my sisters children some forever memories and help them get through this with smiles on their faces.

I don't remember much of the auction if I'm honest, in fact i actually don't remember much of the week leading up to it or that followed. I found it extremely difficult to take anything in. I am so very very lucky to have some wonderful friends who were a constant support and were there day or night throughout those couple of weeks....Louise & Hannah I seriously couldn't have managed any of it without you! Love you both! 

There are lots of people I want to thank, lots of people who helped to put the event together but four I couldn't have done it without!

Kate, Louise, Victoria and Hannah, you girls are so frigging amazing!! Look what we did!! I miss seeing you all every week to brainstorm....

And to all my wedding creatives who have so very generously donated their time, talent and services to put this awesome package together you really are all wonderful and I love you dearly....I can not wait to plan this wedding because with you all involved it's going to be out of this world!!

So now to start helping the winning couple plan their amazing wedding!

The last two months have been utterly life changing. Losing Emma still seems unreal and not something we've really had time to process yet. As a family we've battled with the summer holidays entertaining four children and had to move house. It's been pretty bloody epic!

I've hidden away, not on purpose....I just find it difficult to be around people that are living and getting on with life as if nothing has happened, as if my world hasn't been turned upside down. However I miss people, I miss work and I really miss being creative! The children are all now back at school and I have time on my hands for the first time in forever which alone feels very strange, so time to return to the shop and work!

I miss Emma every single second of every frigging day but I know she's trying to nudge me back to reality, she's telling me to get back out there and find some kind of peace. She knew how much I loved my work and she would be so mad with me if she knew I was using her as an excuse not to go....I know she's telling me to stop just existing and to start living again. She told me lots that she was proud of me and I'm not about to let her down now by becoming some weird recluse so there's big plans for the future and changes to be made, I'm going to do it but it's going to take baby steps to start with! 

See you after......D x


Photos by Stuart Brampton Photography

Venue Ocean Studios